Who Comes First? Family or Christ?

Who Comes First? Family or Christ?

Main Passage: Matthew 10:37–39

"Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me..." — Matthew 10:37

Introduction

Imagine this situation.

You finally have a free Saturday. Your DGroup is planning an outreach, but your family also wants to spend the day together. Which do you choose?

Or imagine this:

God opens a door for you to serve in another city or country, but your family doesn't want you to go. What would you do?

Now consider a harder question:

If following Jesus ever costs you the approval, comfort, or even relationship of your family, would you still follow Him?

Most of us would answer, "Of course!" But when that moment comes, our hearts are tested.

Family is one of God's greatest gifts. We are called to love, honor, protect, and care for them. Yet Jesus said something that sounds shocking:

"Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me."

Why would Jesus say something like that?

Was He telling us to love our families less?

Or was He teaching us something even greater?

Tonight, we'll discover that Jesus isn't asking us to choose between loving our family and loving Him. He's asking us who sits on the throne of our heart.

I. Jesus Deserves First Place

Read Matthew 10:37–39

At first glance, Jesus' words seem harsh.

Why would He ask us to love Him more than our own parents or children?

Because Jesus knows something we often forget.

Whatever comes first in our hearts becomes our master.

Some people put their career first.
Others put money first.
Some put relationships first.
Others put family first.

All of these are good gifts—but none of them were meant to take God's place.

Jesus isn't competing with your family.

He's claiming the place that already belongs to Him.

When Christ is first, everything else falls into its proper order.

Discussion Questions

• Why do you think Jesus spoke so strongly about this?
• What are some good things that can quietly become idols?
• Have you ever struggled to obey God because of someone else's expectations?

II. Can Family Become an Idol?

This is a difficult question because family is good.

God created the family.

He commands us to honor our parents.
He commands husbands to love their wives.
He commands parents to raise their children in Him.

So how can something God created become an idol?

An idol is anything we love, trust, or obey more than God.

Even family can become an idol if...

• We value their approval more than God's approval.
• We ignore God's calling because we're afraid of disappointing them.
• We compromise biblical truth just to avoid conflict.

The problem isn't loving our family.

The problem is loving anyone more than Jesus.

Discussion Questions

• Why is it sometimes harder to obey God when family disagrees?
• Have you ever experienced pressure from family that challenged your faith?

III. Does Putting Christ First Mean Neglecting Family?

Absolutely not.

This is where many people misunderstand Jesus.

The same Bible that tells us to love Christ above all also tells us:

• Honor your parents.
• Love your spouse.
• Care for your children.
• Provide for your household.

Jesus Himself lived this perfectly.

While dying on the cross—the greatest mission in history—He looked at His mother and made sure she would be cared for (John 19:26–27).

Think about that.

Even in His final moments, Jesus did not neglect His family.

Following Christ should never make us worse husbands, wives, parents, or children.

It should make us better.

Discussion Questions

• What does it look like to put Christ first while still loving your family well?
• In what ways should following Jesus improve our relationships at home?

IV. When Family and Christ Conflict

Most of the time, loving Christ and loving family go together.

But sometimes they don't.

Maybe your family discourages you from serving God.

Maybe they mock your faith.

Maybe they ask you to compromise biblical convictions.

In those moments, Jesus asks one simple question:

"Who will you follow?"

Following Jesus has always required courage.

Many believers throughout history have lost acceptance, inheritance, careers, or relationships because they chose Christ.

Yet Jesus promises that nothing we surrender for Him is ever wasted.

Discussion Questions

• Have you ever had to choose between pleasing people and obeying God?
• What makes those decisions so difficult?

Conclusion

The question isn't...

"Do I love my family?"

The real question is...

"Who is first in my heart?"

When Jesus is first...

• We love our family with greater patience.
• We forgive more quickly.
• We serve more humbly.
• We lead with greater wisdom.
• We point our family toward Christ instead of ourselves.

Ironically, the person who loves Jesus most becomes the person who loves their family best.

Jesus never asked us to choose between family and love.

He asked us to choose who would be Lord.

When Christ is first, every other relationship finds its proper place.

Key Truth: The more Christ rules our hearts, the more faithfully we will love our families.

Closing Prayer

Heavenly Father,

Thank You for Your great love and for giving us the gift of family. We recognize that every good thing we have comes from You.

Lord, forgive us for the times when we have allowed other things—even good things like family, work, or personal ambitions—to take the place that belongs only to You. Search our hearts and reveal anything that competes with our devotion to Christ.

Help us to love You above all else. Teach us what it means to seek first Your kingdom and to trust You with every area of our lives. Give us the courage to obey You, even when it is difficult or misunderstood by others.

At the same time, help us to love our families the way Jesus loved His. May our homes reflect Your grace, forgiveness, patience, humility, and truth. Let our words and actions point our spouses, parents, children, siblings, and relatives closer to You.

Lord Jesus, be the center of our hearts, our homes, and our decisions. May our love for You shape the way we love everyone around us. Let our families become places where Your name is honored and Your love is seen.

As we leave today, remind us that when You are first in our lives, everything else finds its proper place. Strengthen us by Your Holy Spirit to live each day with faithfulness, wisdom, and joy as we follow You.

We ask all these things in the precious name of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Amen.